Not the send off I wanted to give my husband

Yesterday was Alberto’s flight back to Bolivia. We got a hotel close to the hotel because we had to be out the door at 6:15am. If you know me I am not a morning person so the plan was to take him to the airport and I was to go back to the hotel to sleep and then shower after he was on his way to the terminals. Well that was not how the day went at all! Before we even got to the end of the block my car was acting funny. It was running but the power would cut out, I lost my headlights, speed-o-meter, radio, etc… But the car was running and we had a deadline so we continued on. Well I missed the exit to the airport so we ended up going to an unfamiliar neighborhood and had to stop at a stop sign for the traffic. You can guess what happened next. Yep the car died completely, at a stop sign where I couldn’t use my hazards and in a foreign country. Fortunately we were just across from a gas station because I had gotten used to no having my cell phone because it was always on Airplane mode to avoid international roaming charges. After the taxi driver got, to us really quickly I must add, he helped us push the car out of the way. Happily we got Alberto to the airport in time to catch his flight and Ali our taxi driver went above and beyond and helped me locate a good mechanic and he even tried to check out my car to try and get it working again. Which didn’t work. I was already emotional and this just opened the flood gates. Knowing that I was saying good bye to my husband and likely won’t see him for 6 months was already a difficult day. Adding car problems to the day just made it all the more worse, but I had no idea that this day would last until 10pm and it would take me 14 hours to get home. By 8 am I was towed 4 blocks to an OK TIRE. How a 4 block tow becomes $67 I have no idea or how that man can live with himself? The mechanics did a diagnostic test on the car and decided that I just needed a new battery. Which I was so relieved and called dad who was on his way up to give me support to go home. They had me out of there in 90 minutes and I was on my way. Ali had taken me to the hotel to get my stuff because I figured it wouldn’t I stopped at McDonalds because up there in Canada you can get yummy muffins and bagels for breakfast. So I got my coke and a bagel with strawberry jelly. The car ran great until I got in line at the border then the power started doing the same thing and of course there was a long line so I was praying that my car would at least make it to the US side. But nope that didn’t happen before I even got half way through the line my car stopped again. I think many if not all of us have had a car break down before and know how terrible that is to be in the way well multiply that by 10 and you now understand how I was feeling. I can’t recall if I was crying before then but the floodgates opened again. Here I was in line with no way out. So I had to walk past 20 cars to get to the closest border patrol the Canadians. Fortunately they were quite helpful and walked back to my car with the battery pack to jump the car. Well it helped to start it but once the jumpers were off the car died. They also helped get traffic moving and pushed me out of the way. We thought I might have run out of gas, I will admit that I was low on gas but didn’t believe that was the problem. I was upset because there was nothing my dad could do to help me and slightly ashamed because if that was really the problem (although I have had that happen before and the car didn’t react that way.) So I then had to walk into town to get gas. It took an hour just to get through the pedestrian border lines. I then had to go to 3 gas stations before I found one with a gas can. I didn’t expect to have as much problems as I did but figuring out to get back to my car was harder. I knew that I would attract attention, a lone woman crying with a gas can at an international border. Sure enough a border agent got out of his truck to talk to me and I told him I had no idea how to get back to the border. And yes I was crying. I finally after 2 hours of breaking down got back to my car and put all the gas in the car. It didn’t work! Boy was I pissed, all that effort and time and it wasn’t that. Dad had been in contact with the mechanic and had him send me a tow truck. I ended up waiting in the border sitting on the ground using the only electrical outlet to charge my phone. Eventually the tow truck driver made it to my car and we made back into Canada. The problem ended up being my alternator and I was back in the mechanic shop at 3:30 which I then realized that I hadn’t eaten since 10am. I was tempted to go get some food but dad and mom were waiting for me about 30 minutes over the border and offered dinner. I am no fool, free dinner with your parents is hard to turn down. I can not tell you how good getting to the states was. I thoroughly enjoyed being with my parents and eventually getting home. Boy I don’t think I have enjoyed a shower and being home as much since I was probably a teenager and going home from girls camp. Now I need the next 4-6 months to fly by because a part of me is missing and 5320 miles away.

Getting married

Choosing a Date

Who would have thought that setting a wedding date would be so hard? Boy did it through us a few curve balls. When we were talking online I thought it would be great to get married on July 4 since we knew we had to get married in Canada, it posed some complications with other family commitments and it wouldn't have given Alberto's mom Luisa time to buy a ticket and be there like she wanted to be. So the next date we set was the only weekend my family had available in August, the 3rd. After having our hearts set on that date for a couple weeks we finally got around calling the LDS Vancouver Temple to make our reservations. It turns out they were closing from July 22 to August 5 for maintenance. I wanted to cry because I felt that Satan was really trying to keep us from our goal of a temple marriage. They had the next 2 weekends available but one weekend my father had the Obliteride and the next weekend was the Compton reunion, and I was NOT going to wait any longer to get married so we had to choose a week day. So we picked Thursday August 8. This was the one time I allowed myself to be Bridezilla and decided that it was my day and I was done trying to make it work around everyone else's schedules. 

The Wedding Date

We really had a fairly relaxed day. I woke up about 8 am so I could pick up my wedding cake from my wonderfully talented friend Jehana. Which of course I was running late for. I brought the cake to my parents so they could figure out how to transport it in their car from Washington to Canada. I had to run home because I had left a few things back at my apartment. We left from my parents house about 10 am and drove together, with the occasional stop of course, it takes about 3 hours to drive from Seattle to Langley, BC where the temple actually is. We dropped the cake off at Montana's the restaurant we were going to after the wedding. By then it was definitely time to get a bite to eat, so we just found a Chinese fast food place near the hotel my family was staying in and where I could get ready. Once there dad a had a little bit of time to get ready before going to get Alberto and Luisa from Alberto's place. Mom and I commenced in getting me ready. I chose to just do a simple curled look under my veil, which seems easy enough but it does take time 45 minutes actually. While mom was getting dressed after doing my hair I started applying my makeup. We ended up running late so I had to finish my makeup and putting my veil on as mom drove us to the temple. We were to meet dad, Alberto and Luisa at 4:00 pm but ended up being 15 minutes late I believe. I chose to do pictures before the ceremony because we wouldn't be out of the temple until 7 pm and I didn't want to fuss with it as we were loosing light and dealing with hungry crabby kids. We did get a few pictures after the wedding before the dinner. 

Overall it was a fabulous and stress-free day. I couldn't have asked for a better day. I am so grateful we were able to make it to the temple and be sealed for time and all eternity.

Click here to learn more about why we wanted a LDS temple marriage.

Our Beginning

Alberto and I met sometime in December 2012 online. Neither one of us remembers exactly when but we both agree it was near the beginning of the month.(For the rest of the story it is important to know that there is a 17 year age difference, which to us in inconsequential now.) Alberto found my profile and picture and sent me "flirt", a little message just saying "hi." For some reason I responded. His profile had no picture and it told me he was older, much older. Those two reasons alone had made me pass up many a profile but for some reason I decided that it wouldn't hurt to give this man a friend. I never thought that I would fall head over heels in love with this man and especially once I learned he was in Bolivia. Alberto and I exchanged emails so I could see his picture and know what he looked like. 

I truly wasn't interested for quite sometime so Alberto really took the lead and did most of the emailing and questions. None of them were too weird or freaky so I politely answered every question. I remember eventually he started calling me honey and I actually chuckled to myself because I knew he was starting to like me. That was on a Sunday and the following Wednesday we decided to talk on the phone. So I gave him my number and he called me an hour later. We didn't talk for long, quite honestly I wasn't really paying much attention. I was busy working on the computer on something. The phone call might have lasted 10 minutes at the most probably because of my lack of interest and the cost of an international phone call on his part. After we hung up my interest peaked because I realized that he was the same on the phone as he was coming across in his emails. Later that night at home all I could think about was him. So I sent him a barrage of emails that would have driven off any other man but not him. It was my turn to ask questions and I had 3 weeks to catch up on. 

Within a couple of days we decided to Skype. We had agreed to Thursday, I had planned on doing my hair and makeup so I could make a good first impression on this man. Well Alberto wanted to test his Skype out on Wednesday. I was not thrilled with this, I was not feeling well and hadn't showered yet and it was laundry day, which means for me I was in my PJs still. Crazy man still thought I was beautiful. Which I guess is good because he will be waking up to me for the rest of his life. 

I can not tell you exactly what all the dates were of most of this but what I do know is that by December 29, 2012 I knew that I didn't want any other woman to find him too. I was not thinking about marriage just that I would wait for him until he got into the States. So I asked him if he would take himself off the online dating sites and of course I would too. What he then typed a few minutes later shocked me. He asked if I would spend eternity with him. It seriously took me 15 minutes to realize that he had just proposed! And I was just as crazy and accepted. 

When I realized just how crazy we were I decided to pray about this. Here's the thing Alberto and I are both devout members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. We strive to counsel with The Lord in all our important decisions and marriage is one of the most permanent decisions you can make. Marriage is not just a piece of paper as some believe it is, as Latter-Day Saints we believe it is a necessary step to achieve the greatest blessings in life and in the next life. That is not to say that if you don't have the chance to marry you will be denied blessings it is just that we regard marriage very highly. Thus we wanted to make sure that The Lord approved. Actually I did not know that he too was praying about this until 2 weeks later of riding the clouds he asked me if I had pray about it. To which I responded yes and asked if he had also. We both received an okay from The Lord. I would say Alberto was more sure than I was. I knew that I was being told to proceed but with all the horror stories you hear of bad online dating experiences I was afraid that I was going to be taken advantage of and used.

Alberto proved me wrong. He applied for his visa on his own, with his own money and never once asked for my help. By the end of March he received his tourist visa to Canada. Yes I know I am in the USA but Canada is a lot closer than Bolivia. And these visa issues is one reason I am choosing to start a blog. I want to chronicle the journey our marriage takes as a result of these problems. Everything we are going through right now is due to things in the past and I at times feel punished because of choices made in the past that neither of us could have anticipated the consequences. We do not know the future and sometimes struggle to understand the repercussions that may come from our choices now. I also want my friends and family who choose to follow to know our love story and to perhaps learn a few things about immigration in the process.